Top 5 Christmas Gifts For People Who Annoy You
Listen, Christmas is a time of giving. While we’re out finding the perfect gifts for our loved ones, however, we can’t forget about the annoying guy who sits near us at work or that one neighbor who insists on playing Pearl Jam in his garage at 2 a.m. In the interest of not wanting to ...
Mark Anderson
Listen, Christmas is a time of giving. While we're out finding the perfect gifts for our loved ones, however, we can't forget about the annoying guy who sits near us at work or that one neighbor who insists on playing Pearl Jam in his garage at 2 a.m.
In the interest of not wanting to leave those types of people off our Christmas list, we found a few gifts that would just be perfect for them…
Light-up Christmas-themed Crocs – While there may be some argument that Crocs are actually pretty comfortable and useful in certain situations, there's really no denying that these particular shoes go a bit too far. We WILL admit that it's a little ridiculous that children have a monopoly on light-up shoes (where are the adult sizes?!), but these probably wouldn't be our first choice. Get them here (if you dare): http://www.crocs.com/p/crocband-holiday-lights-clog/203611.html
Child-sized Drum Set – Does the annoying person in question have children? Give them this drum set and watch the parents' inevitable descent into madness. As they begin to realize that from now on their living room will be about as quiet and peaceful as the battle of Gettysburg, maybe they'll think twice about being nice to you. (Note: Probably not the best choice if this person lives anywhere near you. Otherwise, chances are you'll be hearing those drum solos as well.)
Glitter – It gets everywhere. There are several websites which will mail envelopes or even spring-loaded canisters full of glitter to anyone you'd like. Have fun cleaning that off your desk or living room floor for the next month or two.
Coupons – Because nothing says "I kind of like you, but not really" like 10% off at the local mattress outlet.
The Entire Run of Jersey Shore on LaserDisc – This probably (hopefully) doesn't exist, but can you imagine if it did? You'd truly have to dislike someone to give them this, unless they just happen to appreciate the occasional reality series on an unused format. Oh Laserdisc, we hardly knew ye.
In all seriousness, we love the holidays. Gift-giving is truly an art form, and we're looking forward to spending time with our friends and family in the upcoming days. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours! (And please don't actually give these gifts to anyone. Unless they appreciate a good gag gift — in which case, please film it and send us the video!)