For Fathers Day, Best Dad-Vice, Best/Worst Dad Jokes!

Dear Old Dad. Where would we be without him? OK, literally not here, but you get the point. And that brings us to our celebration of Dads, just in time for Father’s Day coming up in June. We asked the TJM staff to tell us the best advice their dads ever gave them, AND to tell us their best/worst Dad Jokes. Here’s what they said:

Heidi LaCentra:

My father always had an expression, “I’d rather owe it to you than cheat you out of it.”  He would use this phrase when losing bets with us. As silly as his expression is, my father taught us to live within our means and to pay our debts — except to your kids, then that is an owe-it-to-you situation. He still owes me $2 for a lost bet in 1990, and if I’m being honest, I may owe my son some McDonalds from 2010.

Matt Maio:

Best Dad Advice:

“Shine the [deleted] flashlight where I’m working, not where you’re looking around.”

Best Dad Joke:

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a lot of space.

And just to add the first dad joke my dad ever told me:

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence.

Courtney Cole:

My dad always told us we had to be smarter than the tools we operated, when we did something that wasn’t too bright.

Matt Fischer: 

Best Dad Advice:

Lefty loosey, righty tighty.

Best Dad Joke:  When does a normal joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

Kristen Berardi:

Best Dad Joke: How does Darth Vader know what Luke is getting for Christmas?
He feels his presents!

Rick Cundiff:

My dad loves to debate/argue, about just about anything, in a good-natured way. The best advice I got from him was to question everything, and argue with specifics, not general statements. Don’t use “they say” and “Everybody knows.” Show your work, as the math teachers say.

As for the Dad Joke, well, I used to work in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I just couldn’t concentrate.

Stacy Holcomb:

My dad always told me “Be sure you’re wearing clean underwear when you leave the house. In case you get in an accident and EMS has to work on you, you don’t want to be in dirty underwear.”

And last but not least, a three-fer of Dad Jokes from Anthony Caruso:

How does the moon cut his hair?  Eclipse it.

Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.

What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?  “Where’s Pop Corn?”